homesick

And you won’t understand.
The day you leave your sister, you think it hurts.
The days when you’re far away from where you’ve grown up, missing the comforting feeling of your mum’s arms around you, you think it’s the worst it can get.
The day you realize you’ve found another home, far away and all on your own, you think you know pain.
The day you have to say goodbye to your new home, to your friends who have become your family, you think you won’t ever cry that much.
The day when you’re back to the place where you’ve grown up, struggling to settle back in, you think you’re miserable.
You won’t understand, not until the day six months later, when everyone is so used to you again, when everyone thinks you must be okay, you’ll find out what heartbreak feels like.
Every god damn memory, every single picture, every single person that is in your heart but you couldn’t hear their voice in more than six months, it’ll break you into pieces.
You’ll cry, you’ll shiver, you’ll laugh, a bitter sound echoing through your empty room.
You’ll try to find something to hold onto, you’ll write a letter, you’ll try to sleep.
Nothing will help and no one will understand.
It’s something you have to get comfortable with, it’s something you have to figure out yourself.